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Tuesday, 21 February 2012 16:45

Patent Pending

By:  kgb999

Hey! Just filed for a patent on a little thingie I invented with a friend of mine. So. I think I'm allowed to post stuff like this now.

BB Jump

Which, really, makes the invention appear much cooler than the patent application does (if anyone's curious to check out the filing).

Anyhoo ... busier than a one-armed paper picker in a windstorm (as my father is known to say) this week. Hopefully I get a chance to hop in and do something actually relevant soon ... but in the meantime; had to check in to celebrate a bit

Last modified on Tuesday, 21 February 2012 17:39

comments  

 
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[-] Qumulonimbus 2012-02-21 19:32   (permalink)
Dude. You've just invented skates - only with no boots.

The kids'll love it. ;-)

Also, congrats!
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[-] wendy davis 2012-02-21 19:57   (permalink)
Yahoo, kgb! How da hell does it work? Are the blades to slow it down or speed it up? Can ya turn the blades, or are they stationary? Who's in the photo?

And...what the hell is 'relevant'?

Ain't yer birthday, but it IS 'the thingie's' birthday, so:

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[-] kgb999 2012-02-21 20:11   (permalink)
Replying to: wendy davis
The blades just replace the wheels ... so it works pretty much like a regular skateboard. The rider turns and does tricks with the trucks pretty much like normal. Have to wear these spiky cleat things on their shoes in order to get a good push though.

The pic is a buddy of mine playing around with a prototype a couple winters ago on the little lake by my house (I'm the bemused looking one in the background). We're still debating if he actually *landed* that trick; but damn he got some air.
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[-] wendy davis 2012-02-21 20:21   (permalink)
Replying to: kgb999
'...got some air'! LOL! I guess! Wondered if it might require crampon thingies somehow.

Well, congratulations; that's been a long time comin', it sounds like. And those 'business meetings'....it all becomes clear now, dear. Talk to ya 'in the morning-ish'.

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[-] DeCadence 2012-02-21 21:31   (permalink)
I tried to patent my "l'il thingie" but they said there was "prior art". Art, for fucks sake? Those others are cheap imitations.

Anyway, for the less intellectually endowed of us, could you tell what the hell this thing is supposed to do? (aside from "replace a wheel") Read the patent bit, really really obscure.

Daughters learning snowboarding now - most of the snow around too loose for an ice board, or is there something to take powder I don't see?

Will the mechanism replace a stock wheel set?

Most important, if it works well in a skating rink or can spray down/ice up a skating ramp....

Send me some photos via email & let's have a chat- I have an idea someone I could take this to.
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[-] DeCadence 2012-02-21 23:26   (permalink)
Replying to: DeCadence


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[-] Qumulonimbus 2012-02-22 07:26   (permalink)
Replying to: DeCadence
I like the idea of icing down a skating ramp. My nephew's a serious skateboarder, snowboarder, and I think he'd like this idea.
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[-] kgb999 2012-02-22 10:59   (permalink)
Replying to: Qumulonimbus
Yeah. We liked that idea too. So much that we built a ramp about 4' tall out out of ice blocks. Way too steep ... not nearly enough curve. Then I decided it would be fun to ride on it (never really skated before ... like 40 years old). When this *basically* worked out for me; instantly the idea came up "hey ... this needs to be faster!" (it *was* a bit rough) So we smoothed the crap out of it.

One seriously dislocated shoulder later, and now I'm sort of ... "fuck the idea of icing down a skating ramp." But I think for people who are legitimately qualified to ride on a ramp without killing themselves, it's probably petty fun.
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[-] DeCadence 2012-02-22 12:57   (permalink)
Replying to: kgb999
I'm just proud that my idea has already resulted in one dislocated shoulder. Think if this shit goes viral?
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[-] Qumulonimbus 2012-02-22 18:21   (permalink)
Replying to: DeCadence
LOL.

What... a... loser..... you are.

Fuck that made me laugh.
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[-] DeCadence 2012-02-22 23:25   (permalink)
Replying to: Qumulonimbus
What's so funny?

We can make money *AND* be entertained.

#occupy sk8brd
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[-] kgb999 2012-02-22 10:45   (permalink)
Replying to: DeCadence
Heh, I started out my write-up the other direction - really, really precise which, apparently, is frowned upon. Still have a few steps in the process with an opportunity to amend ... but any way it goes, we get to say "Patent Pending" for however long it takes to sort all that out. :-)

And also too, if they gave fucking Penn a patent for this shit ... I'm just sayin'.

The real context of the invention is that it replaces the wheel on a skateboard. We played around with one of those Razor scooters and a hand-cart thing mostly just to see if the idea would work for other applications (basically yes, but with different design considerations) ... which is why the specification is so broad. But the point is skateboards.

And yeah. You just take the wheels and bearings off and put the blades on the trucks in their place and go for it. The board rides almost exactly the same.

Depending on how you sharpen the blades, they'll work on pretty much any hard ice (not snow) ... smooth is definitely best. Haven't had much rink-ice time, but that's pretty much an ideal surface (and the boards don't seem to garf up the ice nearly as bad as figure skaters/hockey players).

I've done a few experiments with ramps .... definite (painful) possibilities. Haven't found anyone who'll let me wet down a whole skatepark yet (liability schmiability!).

There are also several different types of synthetic skating ice that come in plywood-like sheets which theoretically could be fashioned into almost anything (it's a bit spendy ... so I haven't gone there yet).

I'll send you an email with some pics and more details.
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[-] wendy davis 2012-02-22 10:50   (permalink)
Replying to: kgb999
And everything here seems to be working just fine now; my little avatar and choices are back, no need to click elsewhere to get them to come in.

One day maybe you can teach us how to make words wrap around images in diaries, but so far space isn't a big deal, I suppose. ;o)

One other odd thing: for Mr. wendydavis, even on Firefox, no links are hot. Pretty odd, but...there it is.

And youtube killed my 'long time comin'' video. I'll go grab another one soon.

But But But: what are ya gonna name that little thingie?? AND BE SURE NOT TO LISTEN TO DES ON THAT!!
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[-] DeCadence 2012-02-22 13:04   (permalink)
Replying to: wendy davis
Right, Penn gets a patent for a clitocentric hottub specified for females only (yes, that's redundant), and I'm the perv around here?i

And what kind of prior art was KGB researching to run across that? Seems to me it's far afield from skateboard blades and wheel assemblies.

Unless he was thinking of one of these closed contraptions where the nekkid girl gets sliced to ribbons by little go-cart blades. I wouldn't put it past him. Probably a hamster or two in that design as well.
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[-] wendy davis 2012-02-22 15:27   (permalink)
Replying to: DeCadence
Oh, LOL and fooking-A!

I actually went and scanned the damn pdf to find out what ya were talking the hell about. Laffing to hard to type again. But yeah; there I was, all ready to remark how darlin' kgb is in that photo, and now...here I am wondering what his next skateboard my be, too.

'Personal yoni massage surfboards' for ocean and pool use?

Shakin' mah head, Bama-boy.
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[-] wendy davis 2012-02-23 05:02   (permalink)
Replying to: DeCadence
Well, two things, really.

One: you accidentally called yourself a perv; but we know how hard you work at it. and it makes us laugh.

Two: all this is going on while kgb is blissfully unaware of the hilarious stuff you found in that pdf. Or IS HE?

Come on, dude; you can come back and face the ribbing!!
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[-] DeCadence 2012-02-23 05:27   (permalink)
Replying to: wendy davis
Work? Hard? Hardly.

And KGB as the naif? Why exactly would he refer to a Penn & Teller patent application without expecting humor, since they're kinda sorta.... comedians?
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[-] wendy davis 2012-02-23 05:41   (permalink)
Replying to: DeCadence
Oopsie; never heard of them. Their Wiki doesn't make them sound all that funny, but then...maybe ya had to be there.
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[-] DeCadence 2012-02-23 11:19   (permalink)
Replying to: wendy davis
Aaarrggghhhh - use Youtube already
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[-] wendy davis 2012-02-23 11:33   (permalink)
Replying to: DeCadence
Aaaarrggghhhhh.h - maybe when i have time. Funny magic tricks? O:-)

Or do they do a gig with the fully-jetted handheld hot tub thingie?

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[-] DeCadence 2012-02-23 13:44   (permalink)
Replying to: wendy davis
Almost. Except they saw the thingie off. Which this commentator approves of, obviously.

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[-] wendy davis 2012-02-23 14:11   (permalink)
Replying to: DeCadence
I....I....I.... Oh.
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[-] DeCadence 2012-02-23 23:44   (permalink)
Replying to: wendy davis
And anyone familiar with "Do it to Julia" will enjoy this one.

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[-] Obey or not obey 2012-02-21 22:33   (permalink)
That looks AWESOME! It might finally make all those luge tracks around here useful for normal people.

Um, which brings me to the question - does this thing have a brake?

(p.s. if you want to try to market it over here, I could try to put you in touch with a friend who was a pro extreme sports snowboarder who now does event organizing and such, but he probably knows the crowd that you'd want to target. let me know)
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[-] kgb999 2012-02-22 11:41   (permalink)
Replying to: Obey or not obey
Basically the device makes something that usually rolls on the ground slide on ice - so no brakes that would be based on slowing a wheel's rotation.

Thanks for the hook-up offer, there are all sorts of questions I'd love to ask someone like that. I'll shoot you an email when we get something a bit more coherent together from a product presentation standpoint.
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[-] DeCadence 2012-02-22 13:06   (permalink)
Replying to: kgb999
You can have it squirt antifreeze through a tube,melting the ice in front of it and building up friction. Or you can cut real hard, tripping and dislocating your shoulder. I'm inclined towards the latter as a bit more elegant.
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